- After a Sexual Assault
Please provide this information for your friend after a sexual assault:
• Go to a safe place
• Preserve all physical evidence of the assault
-- Do not shower, bathe, douche, eat, drink, wash your hands, or brush your teeth until after you have had a medical examination.
-- Save all of the clothing you were wearing at the time of the assault. Place each item of clothing in a separate paper bag.
-- Do not clean or disturb anything in the area where the assault occurred.
• Get medical care as soon as possible
--Collection of evidence is best done within 72 hours of an assault
--If you suspect that you have been given a rape drug, ask the hospital or clinic to take a urine sample
• Contact a friend, family member or someone else you trust who can be with you and give you support.
• Write down as much as you can remember about the circumstances of the assault, including a description of the assailant.
• Get information whenever you have questions or concerns. After a sexual assault, you have a lot of choices and decisions to make. We provide legal/medical advocacy and therapy services to help you heal and move forward.
- Support a Rape Survivor
•Help the victim to make her/his own decisions, get back into control of her/his life.
•Try to understand the victim’s feelings by remembering a time when you feel powerless, afraid, in need of comfort.
•Avoid comparisons.
•Be patient.
•Communicate a willingness to listen to the victim about how she/he feels.
•Allow the victim to talk about the assault, even though it may be difficult for you to listen to.
•If you are too distressed to listen to her/him, she/he may not be able to talk to you out of a desire to protect you. At such times, encourage her/him to speak to someone else.
•If you have a sexual relationship with the victim, discuss it. Explain that you will wait for him/her to initiate sex. Seek therapy if sexual dysfunction develops. Recovering sexually from rape can be difficult and can take awhile.
•Recognize that nothing you can do will erase the assault.
•Face your own fears and prejudices about rape.
•Educate yourself about rape.
•Seek counseling yourself, if needed.
•Express your feelings away from the victim, find someone to talk to.
•Trust your own feelings and take care of yourself.
- Feelings Frequently Experienced by Sexual Assault Survivors
SEXUAL ASSAULT IS NEVER THE FAULT OF THE VICTIM
Two styles of behavioral reactions:
1.) Expressed - Fear, Tension, Nervousness, Restlessness, Hysteria, Anxiety, Crying, and Anger
2.) Controlled - Mask Feeling, Appear Calm, Subdued, Quiet
Feelings felt during the healing process:
•Guilt and Shame
•Self-blame
•Low Self Esteem
•Vulnerability, Anxiety, General fear of people
•Unsure about self or actions
•Feelings of a loss of control
•Concerns about the perpetrator
•Anger towards self, assailant and people in general
- Tips for Parents & Caregivers to Identify Abuse
Physical Signs:
•Torn, stained or bloody underwear
•Unusual odors, bruises, or bleeding in the genital and anal areas
•Vaginal or penile discharge, difficulty with urination
•Nightmares
Regressive Behaviors:
•Bed wetting
•Thumb sucking
•Baby talk
Behavior and Emotional Signs:
•Nervous, aggressive, hostile, or disruptive behavior toward adults
•Suicide attempts, depression, anxiety
•Apathy, tiredness, fatigue or insomnia
•Running away
•Extreme clinginess or social withdrawal
•Excessive masturbation or sexually acting out
•Reluctance to be with a certain person
IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT NOR THE FAULT OF YOUR CHILD
What your child may be feeling...
•Fear
•Guilt
•Embarrassment
•Anger
•Powerlessness
What parents may be be feeling...
•Anger
•Overwhelmed
•Confused
•Vulnerable
•Guilt
•Denial
•Embarrassment
What you can do to protect your child...
•Talk to them about good, bad, and confusing touch
•Teach them to say "no" to confusing touch, get away, and tell someone
•Let them know offenders aren't always strangers
•Listen to what your child tells you
•Believe them if they tell you they've been abused
•Call the authorities
What you can do if your child discloses...
•Remain calm
•Believe them
•Call Riverview Center, Inc. 1-888-707-8155
- Keep Your Child Safe and Communicating With You
• Believe your child if they disclose. More often, children minimize the abuse.
• Let your child know that there are no topics off limits.
• Listen to your child, validate feelings, and respect their opinions.
• Know who your child is with at all times. Refuse to leave your child with persons you do not know well enough to trust.
• Let them know that most adults won’t hurt them, but some might. Unwanted touch most often comes from someone we like and trust.
• Listen when your child tells you that s/he doesn’t want to be with someone. Find out the reason.
• Model self-protective and limit-setting behavior for children: it is okay to seek help, make mistakes, and not know an answer to everything.
• Teach them correct names for body parts at an early age.
• Don’t insist that children kiss or hug a relative or friend if they do not want to. It is healthy for children to have boundaries.
• Develop a safety plan that includes touching. Play “what if” to practice decision making and develop assertiveness towards adults and other children. Help them develop both verbal and non-verbal responses.
• Have a wide support system to which your child can turn for all types of decision-making.
• Teach children their personal information: telephone number, address, etc.
• Teach children emergency procedures, and how to dial 911.
- 24-Hour Hotline
Want to talk about your concerns for your friend?
Curious about our services?
Call us.
The hotline is staffed by volunteers who have undergone a rigorous training program and background check to ensure that your conversation is informative and empathetic. Through our hotline you can learn about safe places to go after an assault, information regarding all medical and legal options, advocates to mediate between the survivor and medical and law enforcement personnel, service referrals and counseling.
- Medical Advocacy
All survivors of sexual assault have the right to emotional support, replacement clothing, and to know all of their options. Our advocates provide information regarding the Sexual Assault Examination Kit procedures, STD testing/treatment and other medical choices. An advocate is available 24-hours a day to mediate interaction between the survivor, emergency room personnel, and law enforcement. Our advocates concentrate on the best interests of the survivor, which includes providing information and listening to their needs, rather than asking questions and directing her/his behavior.
- Legal Advocacy
If your friend wants to pursue legal action, we can help. Our legal advocates serve as liaisons between the survivor and the criminal justice system to ensure that the survivor’s rights are protected. An advocate can accompany a survivor to a police interview, sustain contact with the investigator for case updates, and attend all meetings and court proceedings with law enforcement and the prosecuting attorney’s office with, or on behalf of, the survivor.
- Therapy
If she/he is ready to talk, we're here. Our master degree clinicians provide trauma-level short and long-term therapy for survivors and significant others, including hypnotherapy, play therapy, art therapy, and eye movement desensitization reprocessing (EMDR) therapy services. Our client-centered approach focuses on reducing the effects of the trauma, learning healthy survival skills, and reducing the potential for re-victimization. We also have group therapy sessions available for children, adolescents, adults, and significant others. Our therapists have educational backgrounds specific to the needs of sexual abuse/assault survivors, and our offices have counselors specializing in child, adolescent, and adult therapy.
- Violence Prevention Education Programming
Riverview Center provides educational programming to tens of thousands of schoolchildren each year to help enact change in our cultural biases and assumptions, by addressing such topics as body safety, healthy versus unhealthy relationships, sexual harassment, sexting, gender stereotyping, bullying, cyberbullying, and Internet safety. But if our message does not reach parents, caregivers, and community leaders, not only do the adults not embrace our message, the information the children are learning could be contradicted in the home. To address this, we offer a variety of violence prevention presentations for adults in which we highlight positive role modeling and healthy parenting techniques, and strive to change attitudes and beliefs about gender roles, stereotypes, and violence in our society. We also provide the tools necessary to appropriately handle disclosures of abuse and recognize the possible physical and emotional consequences of being a survivor. Specialized training is also conducted for law enforcement, the prosecuting attorney’s office, and social service and medical personnel.
Please contact us if you would like to set up free programming.